When is Midlife…Really?
Hello friends,
The weekend is here and I am diving into several books at a time right now. The one I have been turning corners on pages the most is Chip Conley’s “Learning to Love Midlife, 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age.
I highly recommend it!
I have underlined something he said on page four-
“Maybe midlife is not something that happens to you, but a stage of life that happens for you, one that unlocks a whole new world of choices.”
Wow.
Life is all about the choices we make. As we age, we start to consider ourselves more in those choices instead of all the other factors that may tempt us to push our own needs into the background.
He also speaks about how midlife can happen anywhere along the spectrum of aging because retirement comes later, and we stay physically and mentally fit longer.
No longer is the golden watch given at 65 and we go home to sit around on a porch and wait out our last days.
This week one of my closest friends is losing a father figure that she loves deeply, and it is hard to watch her go through it.
He is such a bright light in her life. She admires how he has never stopped learning and his comittment to strive and thrive!
And he has thrived all his life.
He is one hundred years old and has been able to live alone in his home.
He has always excercised daily.
Ate healthy foods.
He has been a social butterfly, still dining out with friends, going to parties and inviting people to his home.
He laughed a lot.
He read a lot.
He has spent his life caring for other people and he still maintained a large social network.
Just last week, he was assembling a piece of furniture that arrived in a box with directions that would make your head spin.
According to my friend, he never started with what he couldn’t do, he led with what he could do.
He was a walking, talking, Blue Zone kind of man.
Longevity is one thing. But living a long time with a positive outlook, a sense of community and a thirst for learning is a special kind of accomplishment.
He modeled that quote in Chris’ book and looked at life as a big opportunity and what a lesson it is for all of us.
Whenever midlife speaks to you, for some it is forty but can be anywhere from 40-70-ish- what would a new perspective do for us?
Looking at this rich season in life as a gift, instead of an obstacle is a game changer.
Chris writes about Yale’s Dr. Becca Levy, who has shown that when we shift our view of aging and our mindset from negative (thanks society…) to positive (up to us!) we can potentially be given an extra seven and a half years of additional life.
The mindset is more beneficial than vitamins, diet, or exercise – although those are all good and necessary things!
When we open aging like a precious gift and unwrap the endless opportunities that are inside, we can reap the benefits in some profound ways.
It is not realistic to expect midlife and beyond to greet us with roses and a glass of champagne every single day.
The twists and turns are inevitable and perspective, reframing and focusing on the many positives can be powerful tools to maintaining a healthy and happy life, no matter our age.
This is a season where we start to listen more closely to what we have been carrying around in our hearts for a while and perhaps haven’t the time to recognize.
Continuing to thrive can be the result of asking ourselves some powerful questions.
What do I want now?
What do I need?
What have I always wanted to try but never had the time?
What gives me joy?
How do I experience life to the fullest?
What have I put on the back burner?
This is wonderful time to being curious about opening a space for ourselves to discover the exciting options that are out there for this next and beautiful chapter.
Let’s make a commitment to changing our perspective on aging and focusing on the many positive things in front of us well redefining midlife in a way that is uniquely our own.
And possibly gaining 7 1/2 more years ;)
Until next time, Keep Blooming, friends!
Pam